So that guy (what's-his-name, the number two starter, hipster oaf-looking fella) is off to the DL with a case of the Too-Many-Cutters. So for those of you who were waiting patiently throughout both weeks of the season for Brett Cecil to return, now is your moment.
We're so excited to have Cecil back with the big club that we have to admit to losing our composure upon hearing the news. It was almost as though we heard that David Cone, Jimmy Key and Mark Eichhorn jumped into a hot tub time machine, dialed it back to 1992 and were on their way to Toronto to reclaim glory.
(And, if you'll permit a bit of a meander here: Would '92 vintage Cone/Key/Eichhorn put the Jays back into contention? Would they have to Roberto Alomar along for the hot tubbing? And would they want to? Sorry...I got lost there for a moment.)
Why do we love Cecil so much? How is it that this young lefty with an ERA on the wrong side of 5.00 and a WHIP of 1.65 has captured our imagination? The best explanation that we have is that Cecil is the Bizarro World Shawn Camp for us. It doesn't matter how bad the result is, we can't help coming away from every outing feeling that much better about him.
We don't even mind that he gave up 13 hits in 11 innings at Las Vegas so far, or that his Triple-A WHIP is 1.36. We figure that has to be the fault of bad fielding. Or poor field conditions. Or official scorers with a vendetta.
When it comes right down to it, we're probably a bit fixated on Cecil's legs. They are as thick and strong as sequoias, and when he's on a roll, he uses them effectively to drop and drive towards the plate. The strength in his legs help him maintain a powerful and consistent delivery, and he never looks like he's overtaxing his arm, which makes us think that the chances of a DL stint based on throwing too many of a certain pitch is unlikely.
We realize that reading along as a grown man swoons for reasons that are wholly irrational might make some of you uncomfortable. Sorry about that. As a make good to all the fellas who might have found this a bit disconcerting. So as a make good, we offer the Christina Hendricks Esquire cover. Which you've already seen, we're sure...but too much of Christina Hendricks is never enough.