Tuesday, August 18, 2009

James Paxton and Jake Eliopoulos are "Good Canadian Boys"

So it appears that the Jays squandered two early round picks - including one of the A.J. Burnett Consolation Prize Picks - on a couple of hosers who have better things to do than kick start their career with Canada's only big league team.

James "Boras" Paxton and Jake "Cheese Saganaki" Eliopoulos declined to sign with the Blue Jays before last night's midnight deadline, and will go back to college or high school or whatever it is that these two dudes do. They just won't be in the Jays system.

That's their right and their privilege, and we don't begrudge their choice. (Well. Kinda.) They have options, and they're going to use them.

BUT PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD: If either of these guys end up being something resembling a Major League pitcher, can we have a moratorium on all of the talk about how the Jays should bring them to town, because they are good Canadian boys and we need more good Canadian boys playing for their hometown team, even if they are likely from B.C. and grew up three time zones and thousands of miles away from Toronto? Would it be possible for people to remember that the Jays drafted these two panty-waisted nancy-boys, and that they preferred to stay far away from Toronto?

And to the two pie-tossers in question: Don't come playing the "I Love Canada" card when it comes time to get an overblown contract, and don't show up on TV saying that it would be the Thrill of a Lifetime (obscure CanCon reference!) to play for the Blue Jays.

Let's just make the decision now to say: Up yours Paxton, and toss off Eliopoulos, and don't ever come skulking around these parts again.

Oh, and watch out for line drives back to the mound off of space-age carbon-fibre bats. It would be awful if one were to smack you square in the melon.

27 comments:

Brendan said...

Wait, you mean Canadians won't take a hometown discount to play in Canada? I don't believe that, since it happens all the time...what?...it's never happened? Well...there's a first time for everything, right?

I'd like to know if fans of the Yankees or Bosox think all NY area players or Bos area players should play for them. Do they get hometown discounts? Doubtful.

The Ack said...

I dunno, my vitriol is reserved for ownership and the logic fail draft philosophy.

"Hey, let's spend our top picks on tough signs....and then not sign them!"

Not to mention, the flip flop of the bullshit bravado "the gloves are off at the draft this year, baby!" to uh, keeping the gloves on, largely.

The whole fucking thing doesn't add up. Bust the shit outta slot for guys like Marisnick and Hobson, which is good, but fail to deliver Paxton, Eliopoulos, and Barrett? Now maybe it comes out that they wanted Strasburg money (I exaggerate, but still..), but (a) I doubt it, and (b) the Jays shoulda' known what they were in for when they made the selections.

I don't know anymore. I just don't know.

SP said...

Right on Tao.

And Ack, I think you're referring to it, but Beeston literally did say that "the gloves are off" in February. They go from that macho Fuck You Bud stance to Umm Please Don't Hate Us, We Tried But Those Meanie Agents We Being Big Meanies.

SP said...

Were* Being Big Meanies. I blame Scott Boras for that spelling mistake.

Adam said...

If Eliopolous didn't sign cause he wants to get an education (and build his rep) then i don't begrudge him at all. If he signs after one year in college and was just looking for more money, then that's a little bit more worth a grudge.

Mattt said...

Is there ever any good news to report anymore?

Tao of Stieb said...

Nope. We've entered the No Good News Zone.

Just so that I'm clear, I'm not suggesting that these guys should have given the home town discount. I am just so fricking sick of all the jingoistic "we shoulda got Jason Bay and Justin Morneau in the draft" bullshit, and I really hope that this ends it.

And because of this, I'm going to take my copy of Bob Elliot's sleep-inducing book on Canadian baseball and set it ablaze today.

Also, I'm kinda done with this front office now. I know I'm a J.P. apologist, but really, I just can't deal with the neverending onslaught of misery.

Just fire JP, hire Alex Anthopoulos, and bring in Gillick as his mentor so that I can get my blood pressure down for a few months.

I'm really starting to hate my own blog.

eyebleaf said...

Well put, Tao. And, yes, I still want Jason Bay to become a Toronto Blue Jay. More for the fact that he's a great baseball player. That's what counts, right?

As for your last comment, damn. Dark days.

Anonymous said...

I actually kind of like this move. It shows (once again) that JP Ricciardi is a take no shit badass that won't be pushed around under any circumstances.

Rios TERMINATED

Draft picks TERMINATED

Roy Halladay's respect TERMINATED

Like seriously, there's no one that JP won't shit on and call "The Player" repeatedly during interviews and hell, I kind of like it. Fuck these millionaire assholes. Long live thousandaire JP!

Sven the Swede said...

Tao you've got to have brass balls to follow this team.
Does anyone know anything about Tony's kid that they've drafted? I really hope he's got the same accent and flip throw to first base.
Now, will you go to lunch?

Anonymous said...

Do you know those guys don’t really like baseball that much? Do you know those guys don’t have a passion to play the game that much? How much do you know about the players?

There’s a reason why you’re attracted to some players and there’s a reason why you’re not attracted to some players. I don’t think you’d be very happy if they brought James Paxton/Jake Barrett/Jake Eliopoulos here …

They’ve done their homework on guys like James Paxton/Jake Barrett/Jake Eliopoulos here and there’s a reason why they don’t want James Paxton/Jake Barrett/Jake Eliopoulos here. They don’t want to get into specifics.

Anonymous said...

Fuck off Parkes

Darren Priest said...

@Brendan I don't see where "hometown discount" is ever mentioned in this post. The point is, the Jays made a better than reasonable effort to land these guys and they couldn't. So if these players amount to anything (which is statistically unlikely), Jays fans can't say the team didn't try.

I have no confidence whatsoever anyone will remember that when they are roasting the next GM.

eyebleaf said...

I'm not putting this on Ricciardi. It's not like we're the only team who doesn't sign their guys. For these fucks who go back into the draft, we get picks back, anyway.

Sign J.P. to a lifelong contract already.

Darren Priest said...

I'd be pretty nervous if I were paying a guy like Strasburg 15 million. How many guys who throw 103MPH do that for long? Not that Ted Lerner is going to miss the money.

Mattt said...

Tao, take back what you said about your blog and appologize to it. Now play nice...

jrock said...

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/blogs/globe-on-baseball/

Looks like this one's Beeston's fault. I bet Riccardi told him on draft day: "If you force me to take this Boras client, then YOU have to negotiate with him"

Drew - LtB said...

For what it's worth, Eliopoulous is from Newmarket, a grand total of 35 minutes driving time from Gate 5 at the Dome. FML.

Also the KLaw claims the Jays were stubborn in not budging to meet Jake's number as it wasn't too far off.

NORTHSIDE TIL I DIE.

Dave the Realist said...

Alright guys...so lets take a deep breath and take in what actually happened. The Jays drafted 5-6 very talented kids and hoped to sign them all but knew in reality they might not get them all on the dotted line. So they went over slot to get a good first round pitcher and a third-rounder that apparently would have been an early 1st if he hadn`t had signability issues. And now they get 3 compensatory picks next year to replace these ones. For those of you scoring at home that means that the Jays (if they let Barajas and Scutaro walk) could very easily have 9 picks in the first 3 rounds. Honestly it doesn`t sound to me like teh end of the world. Signing and developping these guys would have been nice but at least they don`t just disappear into thin air.

The Ack said...

Actually, I recall reading that Jenkins signed for almost exactly slot.

Marisnick was a good pick and the type of the player the org needs, so kudos there, but I don't think he was ever in the running to be an "early" first rounder.

Aaaaand....those extra picks next year will only matter if, you know, the Jays draft quality players and actually, you know, sign 'em...

I'm sorry. It's just hard to be positive right now. But hey....TRAVIS SNIDER!!!!!

(see how that works?)

Anonymous said...

Well said, good riddance to these two Canadian kids. The Jays showed a willingness to throw big money this year at its draft picks, but it just wasn't enough for these two. And the fact one of them chooses to be represented by Scott Boras shows where his priorities lie - money, money, money. I'd love to see some Canadians play for the Jays, but ones that actually feel some Canadian pride at playing for Toronto, which obviously isn't these two kids.

Christopher said...

That Tom Petty video gave me nightmares as a kid. Especially, when they're eating Alice at the end.

FUCK.THE.MACHINE said...

Essential listening for all Glengarry fans. It's gold!

http://glengarrymix.nadens.com/uamix/

Audio not safe for work

Anonymous said...

Just to let yall know, Jake is my good friend.

He is going to JUCO in Florida next year and plans to re-enter the draft the following year. Chipola JUCO in Marriana, FL.

And, to the poster of this blog, do some research before you start blasting players, Jake grew up in toronto and moved to Newmarket later... he didn't grow up in BC...

Anonymous said...

This blogger is nearly as idiotic as JP Ricciardi. In case you didn't know, draftees are not forced to sign with their drafted team. They have the right to go their own way, and they used that right.
That doesn't make them panty-wearing nancy's or whatever you called them. You are much closer to this term for throwing around stupid insults to people you don't know anything about.

Anonymous said...

Look at Eliopolous' numbers at Chipola JC in Florida right now: 21.1 ip, 8.44 era, 22 h, 21 bb, 24 so. Also, after 6 starts he was bumped from the rotation. The Jays look like they made a smart move by not giving him his desired $700,000. As far as Paxton, it appears as though they screwed the pooch on that one.

Anonymous said...

Dear Tao or whatever name you hide under - get off the couch already. Get a life and stop the jealousy, nobody but these good old Canadian boys know the real reason they didn't sign, and although you think you know, you don't.