So it appears that the Jays squandered two early round picks - including one of the A.J. Burnett Consolation Prize Picks - on a couple of hosers who have better things to do than kick start their career with Canada's only big league team.
James "Boras" Paxton and Jake "Cheese Saganaki" Eliopoulos declined to sign with the Blue Jays before last night's midnight deadline, and will go back to college or high school or whatever it is that these two dudes do. They just won't be in the Jays system.
That's their right and their privilege, and we don't begrudge their choice. (Well. Kinda.) They have options, and they're going to use them.
BUT PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD: If either of these guys end up being something resembling a Major League pitcher, can we have a moratorium on all of the talk about how the Jays should bring them to town, because they are good Canadian boys and we need more good Canadian boys playing for their hometown team, even if they are likely from B.C. and grew up three time zones and thousands of miles away from Toronto? Would it be possible for people to remember that the Jays drafted these two panty-waisted nancy-boys, and that they preferred to stay far away from Toronto?
And to the two pie-tossers in question: Don't come playing the "I Love Canada" card when it comes time to get an overblown contract, and don't show up on TV saying that it would be the Thrill of a Lifetime (obscure CanCon reference!) to play for the Blue Jays.
Let's just make the decision now to say: Up yours Paxton, and toss off Eliopoulos, and don't ever come skulking around these parts again.
Oh, and watch out for line drives back to the mound off of space-age carbon-fibre bats. It would be awful if one were to smack you square in the melon.